I have dismissed a lot of people in my life. I have thought them too dumb, too ‘stuck’, too drunk on drama to be worth my time and attention. I have held back my love to give to the people who ‘tick my lists’. I have held tallies of ‘deserving of my love’ and ‘not deserving of my love’ that span over years, decades even. I have held to the idea that each and every individual relationship has to ‘balance out’, like I’m some big and righteous overlord balancing the scales of love. I have said, even to the people who do ‘tick enough boxes’, ‘Not now. This isn’t a good time. I’m not really feeling like being loving right now, can you come back later?’ Like there is a time to be loving and a time not to be.
This isn’t an exercise in self-recrimination, I don’t feel guilty or upset about any of these facts. I hold to the belief and knowing that I, like everyone else, have always done the best I could with what I knew… I can clearly see that I know a little more now than I did back then. This is more a simple reminder, a gentle check-in to remind myself, and you if you need it, to stop dismissing people and start loving them instead. A reminder to keep coming back to this work (And I assure you, it is work!) of seeing every single person around me as a spiritual equal. To consciously, constantly snap myself out of this ego trap of casting myself ‘bigger’ or ‘smaller’ than the person in front of me. From the most macro, infinite perspective my human mind can even get a glimpse of, even the notion of ‘spiritual equal’ falls away… ‘Equal’ implies separation, comparison… Big picture, there is no separation…
It’s 3am on Christmas night; I’m allowed to digress.
So, back to the reminder to myself:
Stop dismissing people. Stop holding back your love.
This does not mean you will give your time, talent and sustained attention to people who are not inline you’re your highest values… But there is a way to walk away without leaving a person dismissed. There is a way to love each and every person, no matter the brevity of your physical, practical contact.
There is a way to interact with every single person you meet in a way that leaves them subtly feeling more loved, accepted and seen.
Bless every person who crosses your path, they are a reflection of your own holy infinite source.
‘Long lay the night in sin and error pining…’
People are pining to be reminded of their inherent luminous nature. They have ‘sinned’, they have missed the mark and they have believed themselves less than complete, less than deserving of love.
Stop dismissing people. See everyone with love. Everyone. Smile as their brilliance tentatively peeks from behind the walls, enticed by your own. Hold space for their brilliance.
‘Save’ people from the illusion of drowning in their pain and neurosis – hold space for their brilliance.
The only way you can hold space for anyone’s brilliance is to hold space for your own.
Hold space for your own brilliance.
Start with love.
Always start with love.